tengo ganas hacer esto

I love seeing this blank space staring at me on my computer screen. (the Locoturio´s computer because of course my internet does not work) I have been thinking of writing an update over the past several days, but have only now taken the time. Last night I went to the Ciudad Real fair. In April and May many cities are famous for their incredible fairs. Although not entirely incredible, going to the fair was something different. There was no ferris wheel, but there were bumper cars and lots of carnival food like hotdogs. There were also about 7 tents with different Spanish music for dancing. It felt very Spanish, and although being there made me feel very American, I enjoy these authentic atmospheres. I enjoy watching the traditional dances, the people singing along to words I don´t know, and being apart of yet another pleasurable activity the Spanish put so much priority on. I get inspired by reading really good articles. I must thank Lauren for leaving the Paste magazines for me. After reading several film and book reviews (from 2010, ha) I had this sense of confidence and clarity about going home this summer. I would like to spend all of my time reading, catching up on documentaries and films, studying Spanish and spending as much time as possible with a list of people I have in my head. These musical reviews and articles also make me wish I had grown up in Memphis or Brooklyn (2 very cool but very opposite American cities) with parents who were exactly alike and exposed me to art when I was born so that it would be inherent in me. I would have surely become an artist or writer. Lastly, the Lilith Fair article, about the 1997-1999 women´s music festival started by Sarah McLachlan, made me think a lot about putting into words something I´ve felt before about my teenage years. It helped put into words for me what trying to be apart of the music scene was like when I was ages 14 to 18 and even more. It was always about the boys. And thát´s exactly it. The girls wanted to be apart of the music scene (like anyone) because it was super cool, dedicated, messy, loud and our parents didn´t understand. And because we wanted the boys? Or we liked the music? But to think about playing an instrument seemed out of the question. Too scared? I think most just too intimidated. There were lots of girl fans at Furnace Fest, but there were never girl artists. That´s something I didn´t think about at the time because it just was like this. I like seeing the music scene change. And I also just got done reading Half the Sky. Rootin´on the girls of this world! Random: I think it´d be great to have one of those movie relationships where you never knew you could end up loving someone so much. The couple is sitting at a park (but they don´t know they´re a couple) and the male says (during the moment of silence), "I think I love you" and without hestitation the female goes, "I´m going to marry you" as if both vomitted the words. I wish my internet worked because, you know, you always want to do the most when you can remember. I want to tell about Christmas vacation more. I have a lot of great stuff from observing people in airports during that travel time. I´m also thinking about how being in Spain and especially with Miquel, has taught me to think more about what I eat and how I´m going to make it. Flo also taught me a tiny bit about cooking when he stayed with me during Carnaval. I mean I have vergüenza when I cut tomatoes in front of Miquel. And "it´s cool" to eat cool stuff, instead of it being a chore. Most people visit Mercadona everyday. Mealtime is the most important. It´s important to eat well, and that´s surely new for me. I´m going to keep this mindset in PC. I´m continually thinking about advice I want to give to my children. It´s like this automatic assumption that what I´ve learned will be advice for my children because I´m doing what I can when really I´d like to tell this to younger, less experienced Jaclyn and do it over again.. I think. Passing on knowledge to our descendants. But I want to tell my girl(s) that first off, outer beauty is way overrated no matter how much doubt you have about that throughout your adolescence. It´s April now, and it just feels like the downslide of my time here this year. After being sick the last part of March and now that I´ve recovered, I have a refreshed sense of purpose for being here. I have so much excitement (rather than dread) about studying and learning Spanish. I am also so thankful for the sunshine and the good people who want to be apart of my life. I´m also very excited about music these days, spending my free time (and with working internet) trying to discover some more goodies. Lastly, let´s enjoy this day! Say, "okay!" when we make some plans, but try really hard to not want to turn the pages of the planner too quickly! ¿de acuerdo?

Today

So as it goes, the adventurer must rest, come to terms with routine, and still find goodness in the very moment that is now. So since Prague, I have not traveled and only saved. Dreary Ciudad Real becomes more dreary, with a long winter I'm not use to. But this week the sun is shining, the prices are still low here, and I walk at most, 30 minutes to any given destination. And I'm in the heart of Spain. I've taken little hikes here and there in Castilla La Mancha, the region of my beloved city, and appreciate the simplicity of this place, the flat land, the glassy lakes, the numerous rivers, narrow, windy roads not bombarded by shopping centers and fast food. I have taken more time to study Spanish. I've gotten to know this place more.

Hello sunshine

I had planned on copy and pasting what I wrote in my journal of the details of my Christmas break trips. I'll get back to that later. Today I woke up to a gorgeous and freezing day in Ciudad Real. If there's sun the cold doesn't matter. I have been downloading some music. I miss dancing so much. There's really nothing more tranquil and soothing for me than dancing. I have dual desires: I so desperately want to master Spanish to be able to communicate better with the people I'm constantly in contact with. And then I find myself craving American music, English anything, nostalgia for easy understanding. It's like homework in college. I will detail the entire house, organize my g-mail before I will sit down and concentrate on studying.

Despite the new feeling that still exists here, routines form. Mondays replicate past Mondays. Do I find comfort in routine and knowing what the expect? Yes. I will admit that because I'm trying to speak only Spanish, I have found that I use the phrases "I can't wait for.." "I hope" and "I wish" a lot. I feel like I'm living in the now, but perhaps it's inevitable to keep looking forward, in those moments of silence, monotony.. not being able to stop your mind from imaging what's next.

I have decided to reapply to the program for another year. I can request another city, perhaps in the lovely Andalucia, but I fell in love with my school before Christmas. As well, I have made helpful contacts, great friendships, met a boy worth sticking around for, and find that I enjoy a smaller city as opposed to the gigantic Madrid or Barcelona. Plus, I need to keep learning Spanish!

There's more to come.

Hot in the face today

Spanish bureaucracy is a bit difficult. It involves a lot of waiting. I have been waiting for my NIE card which will make me a legal resident of this country for a time period since I got here. I found out today that the head of the school district forgot to put my name on the call list. So I spent the afternoon, with the help of my great friend Manoli, speaking with officials. At first I was told it was going to be impossible for me to leave the country for my upcoming vacations, but then that it's a risk I can take and really the NIE card is only good within Spain. When I came back from Bristol, the customs representative in Madrid barely looked at my passport before letting me through so I'll take the risk since I've already spent my entire monthly salary on my Christmas vacation. Today was the first day I actually felt panicked, but as usual, no pasa nada.

Then Manoli and I spent the long car ride back to Moral speaking about relationship lingo. She explained the proper terms to be used and the important questions to ask and how to ask them. As well, I learned that "te amo" is hardly used in Spain. Rather, "te quiero" is more appropriate. Americans believe they are speaking wise Spanish when they say "te amo." When we got to school I got to help the 4th graders make pizzas. We are also playing a game called "Invisible Friend" (Secret Santa) this week, and I've gotten an assortment of Spanish cookbooks. Not bad. I expect the week to end with lots of delicious food and next week will consist of only games and fun. Me encanta!

6 buses, 6 trains & 2 planes

This weekend I visited Charles & Kyle in Cardiff (well a small village nearby) in Wales in the United Kingdom. I calculated that I spent 24 hours of the weekend just traveling and 34 hours actually with my friends. To get from one small village to another country to another small village requires buses, trains and planes. Pressing "accept" buttons & watching money disappear from my bank account is the easy part. Anyway, it was worth it. This is part of it. It was such a relaxing weekend in Cardiff. The inclement weather was expected. There's never much sunshine, but there wasn't any snow, luckily! We went to several pubs and ate local food and had Guinness beer which is was oh, so tasty. We sat by a fire last night and got to know kyle's fellow chiropractic mates. I finally got to see where Kyle has spent the last 4 years of his life. There were rolling hills, loads of sheep perched on the sides of these hills and signs in English and in Welsh. Kyle introduced me to the local coffee and Welsh cakes. We visited an old English bookstore, played Christmas music & had a proper English breakfast this morning.

I enjoyed listening to Charles & Kyle spit their medical terms, knowledge about diseases and what their grueling exams were like. It was informative and interesting. Kyle also pretended to be handicapped (spur of the moment, he says) in order to get passed on old lady to the handicapped toilet. Charles described only being able to take a bath for the first 4 months in the UK which was quite a process for him considering his height!! Lots of laughs.

As we go from Northside Baptist youth group to studying and teaching in Europe a lot changes and so many little things stay the same. It was simply a home-like feeling for me this weekend with these dudes. A girl at the pub last night kept repeating to me, "You all are from the same city in Florida and why are you here? Are you crazy?" And it was so nice explaining that just to be hanging with old friends in a new place is really enjoyable. Once again, I just can't believe how lucky I am.

I miss home on Sundays

I think everyone has that little nostalgic feeling on Sundays no matter where he or she is in the world or whom he or she is with. I typically spend Sundays alone, unless traveling, catching up, reading, preparing, thinking about what I haven't gotten done, feeling bad about that, enjoying a movie on my tiny TV, and chatting with Jesùs, a clase particulare student, in the evenings. Today I have been trying to put together the puzzle that is my Christmas break in order to get in as much travel as possible for the least amount of money. The latter is surely impossible. It is a beast. With my slow internet connection and the enormous amount of so-they-say cheap airline options I have spent hours going back and forth. But I have accomplished booking a flight to Prague and will be skiing with Kylah and Felipe in the Sierra Nevada at the beginning of 2011. Last night I was the first quest to arrive to my 2nd Thanksgiving feast at Mady, Bryn and Noemi's house so I sat on the couch staring at a map of Europe and feeling overwhelmed by the dozens of cities I have to visit before heading back to the United States. I will surely have to spend another year on this incredible continent.

My fellow American auxiliares, myself and others were able to put together two Thanksgiving dinners this past week. It was great to share the tradition with our Spanish friends. Both Bryn & Kylah were able to pull off the stuffing which is the most important part of the meal. It was delicious. When it was my turn to say aloud what I was thankful for I kept thinking about the movie Hook during the meal scene with all the imaginary food, except that in my case, the food was real, the perfection of my current situation is real. I don't think I've thought about that enough until this weekend.

A couple of weeks ago my umbrella was destroyed by sideways, pelting rain in Moral de Calatrava on my walk to the miniscule shelter of a bus stop where I must sit and wait. With that rain brought very chilly weather to this city, and I'm told it only gets worse from here. I have tackled the phrase, "tengo frio," because I use it every single day.

This Tuesday I went horseback riding in a small pueblo called Migelturra with the music teacher from my school, Marta. Once again, it was another situation in which I could only laugh. It must be 4 years since I've last ridden, and I think I was overconfident when I mounted the horse. Even at the youthful age of 25, my stamina has decreased and I actually got scared for a moment when my Spanish horse started cantering. Of course they gave me Old & Slow. Marta kept yelling, "You must kick him harder!" And I was thinking, yes, I'm kicking the freaking horse as hard I possibly can. "Vamos horsey. Vamos!" The instructor spoke to me in Spanish as if I understood every word, like all the people do here, and I just smiled and made arm motions. The experience was just perfect though. I had lunch at Marta's house in her small village. She showed me that she was practically next door neighbors with her parents and everyone she knows. We looked at photo albums of her travels and Carnivale (I can't for this!) for which she makes all of her costumes.

Seriously almost every experience I have had here has been so pleasant. Despite waiting for trains, occasionally getting rained on, having to walk and walk and walk, I still am constantly learning. I'm so impressed with the Spanish peoples' commitment to their families. Everyone I've met has been more than hospitable, welcoming, eager to share this pleasurable country with me.

Tomorrow starts my week 1 week, as I call it, and then we have a puente and a ton of vacation time!

I do miss, but I'd miss this more right now. Hasta pronto.

I sit with my english thoughts

Everyone in Spain loves futbol (soccer) especially the children, and since Spain is coming off a World Cup win, they are even more ecstatic. There are some talented 8-year-old athletes in my classes who know everything about soccer. As I mentioned, I teach English in a LOT of P.E. classes. I know very little about the standards for physical education but have spent some time looking up old games we use to play in middle school like Capture the Flag which the teachers find very fascinating. Today I finally met the "real" P.E. coaches after being confused for a month about why I was working with teachers who spoke zero English. The female coach was in Canada teaching and the male coach was on paternity leave. Yes, paternity leave.. for a month. Ana greeted me with a ginormous hug and her enthusiasm poured out during the very first class of 2nd graders. I also met Javi today. If you have the typical American idea of what a "Javi" would be, you're exactly right. This 6"3 beast of a man has deep eyes and dark longish hair, curls at the end, and gel to hold it back. His nose is large. His skin is tanned all year 'round. He of course played professional (or some sort of semi-professional) futbol in his "younger" years although he doesn't look a day over 30. He speaks Spanish fast and loudly, using his hands to get the point across to the children. I have finally seen a real Spanish man. Later this afternoon I mentioned to Manoli my take on Javi, and she, without discretion, offered up the information that he "has been successful with many of the ladies in the past." I, at first, thought she kept saying "sexual", which is really the same, and we had a huge laugh. Today I also sat through a meeting where two representatives from some healthcare company were trying to persuade the teachers to use their services. The two kept looking at me for some reason, and I nodded as if in agreement although I had no idea what they were talking about. Manoli sat across laughing and poking fun. I got a free multi-colored pen out of it.

There is more play than work at my school. I spend my stressful hours traveling to and from school and the non-stressful hours following teachers around, trying desperately to understand what they'd like me to do and getting hugs from little Spanish niños who robotically say to me, "Hello. How are ju? I'm fine, thanks. bye bye." Hopefully I'll get something accomplished here.